Suffering's Salvation
by Rebelchickie
Summary: In the end, you can trust anyone. They will leave you. They will hurt you. They will make sure that every ounce of fight left in you is dead. And eventually, no matter how hard you fight and how hard you try to keep that dim flame alive, it dies like a rose in the withering sun. Dies like your will. Your sanity. Your mind.
1. Chapter 1-Told You So

_Misunderstood Marionette_

_I don't think my parents realized what they were doing the second that they checked me into Seiyo Hospital for the Mentally Insane. I had told them over and over again that I wasn't crazy, that he was real and he was always watching me. If only they looked hard enough, they would see him. He had tried to kidnap me, and I since he failed, he was set on watching me._

_Watching and waiting until his chance to strike, and get me like he had failed to do in the past._

"_IM NOT CRAZY! LET ME GO! LET ME OUT!" I had screamed and screamed until my fists were bruised and my voice was gone. They just left me in the dark, cold room with nothing but the sound of moans and screams. _

_I was scared._

_I was hungry._

_But as I look back, I realize that I would take being there for the rest of my life without screaming, or complaining, or anything. I would be a good little girl and take my pills and do their test._

_It wasn't as bad as the circus. Nothing was as bad as the circus._

_Nothing._

_Nothing._

_**Nothing.**_

_**Nothing.**_

_This place… something that seemed so innocent was full of beasts that weren't the sideshows. The ringleaders and the staff where the monsters. We were just the victims. Taken away, or in my case, bought, and taken to the red room._

_**The very last place,**_

_**Where you would have a pretty face.**_

_They would take your body in all its glory, and cut, tug, and rip it. Adding and subtracting from your figure like you where their Algebra homework._

_**And you know what the best part about it is**__?_

_You can't do anything but scream._

_I watched children come in and never come out. Lots of them. Some younger then me, some older. In fact, only 9 have come out. And that's if im remembering correctly. They had kidnapped hundreds of children from there families and slaughtered them in ways that there young minds couldn't even comprehend. _

_And all I could ever do is watch. _

_But the ones that did come out, well, im sure they did wish they were dead. They were deformed either in the body, or the mind. There were things that they had messed with that were never meant to be tampered with._

_But they didn't care._

_They didn't care what they did. They were demons. Monsters. They were what your parents dismissed as scratching branches or figments of the imagination, that you knew were beasts that lurked in your closets and under your bed._

_No one believed me. I told them, but they didn't listen. They cast me away like an unwanted piece of garbage, claiming they 'wanted me to get better' and 'would be waiting until I could finally come home' then sold me. But not before replacing me with my little sister._

_Ami._

_Coincidence that its only one letter different, I think not. They had to make sure they had a new, unbroken child before they trashed the other one. _

_But trashing me wasn't enough. They wanted money for me. Instead of selling me to the Mental Hospital, they sold me to a suspicious man. He said he was a special needs teacher, and he would raise me like his own. That he only wanted to make sure I was as healthy and happy as my condition would allow._

_He was a dirty, filthy, rotten liar._

_Did my parents know that? _

_No._

_Did they honestly care?_

_Hell no._

_In the end, you can trust anyone. They will leave you. They will hurt you. They will make sure that every ounce of fight left in you is dead._

_And eventually, no matter how hard you fight and how hard you try to keep that dim flame alive, it dies like a rose in the withering sun._

_Dies like your will._

_Your sanity._

_Your mind._

_And you eventually become what they label you as. You become your deformity in a way that would drive a regular person mad. Because where all mad here anyway._

The breeze turns the pages of the worn diary that sat on the cold, rusted metal of my cage. My knotted pink hair fell on the dirty ground as I sat, hunched over the crappy book. I had decided a long time ago that I would at least do the one thing that might get me remembered. I would write of Dark Woods and hope that it would be at least one child's salvation.

Maybe in my miserable existence I could save one person.

Just one.

I would pass like a ghost and be gone when the moon rose in the sky, but just one person was all I asked. One person to remember me.

To remember that I did try to fight.

That I didn't just give up so easily.

And that I was sorry, that I couldn't do more.

I tried, vainly, but I tried.

Doesn't that count for something?

…

**NEW STORY! YAA! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T START THIS BUT I DON'T CARE! IT'S BASED OFF OF DARK WOOD CIRCUS! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! DON'T OWN ANYTHING! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OR I WILL DELETE IT!**


	2. Chapter 2-Don't Ask

_Flashback_

"_Ikuto! Come on!" a blonde, pigtail-haired girl with beautiful amethyst eyes chirped happily. She had a colored flyer in her hand and she clutched it tightly. A bored looking boy followed in her wake, mumbling something about 'stupid, childish things,' but it didn't stop him from following._

_They walked down the dark trail, that had said to lead to the circus, but as they went farther and farther, their resolution wavered. The forest around them was dark and creepy, and the girl was getting scared._

_Right when they were about to turn back, Ikuto heard the faint sound of music._

"_Its right ahead, Utau, were almost there," Ikuto says, and they hurry forward._

_The see a red and black striped tent that rose eerily into the night. Ikuto thought that the atmosphere of the whole place was off. Everything in him was telling him to turn back, but he shook off the feeling. Something he never should have done._

_A creepy man with a top hat came forward, an almost demonic smile on his face._

"_Hello there, children, have you come to see the show?" he asks._

_Utau, not sensing the creepiness that shrouded the man, grinned up at him._

"_Yes! We can't wait!" she laughs._

_The man smile grows, and he turns to the side, pointing out his hand towards the tent._

"_Enjoy," he says simply, and Ikuto grabs Utau's hand and drags her inside. They find seats in the semi full tent and watch as the familiar man comes out into the center, the spot light shining brightly on him._

"_Welcome, welcome to the Dark Woods Circus, home of the misfits, the freaks and the deformities of humanity. Watch your eyes, for the following is really something that you can't find anywhere else," the ringleader almost sings._

_The spotlight moves away from him, and it reveals, two, no one figure. Yet two people. There was a collective gasp around the whole entire tent._

"_This is The Twin. Two twins who were….conjoined at birth. They are connected by the hip…literally," the man says. You can tell that there is evil in his voice. Ikuto looks at Utau who is staring at them with horror._

_They both took each others hands, the music playing haunting notes. They dance with great skill. The boy side has a frown on his face. He looks sad, he looks defiant, but what emotion is so heavily shown on his face is pain. The female side is smiling. She seems happier, though the smile she wears doesn't meet her eyes. She seems more tame, but you can tell that she hold sorrow in her eyes. Sorrow aimed at her brother. _

_Utau looks away, but Ikuto observes. He sees that the boy flinches whenever his right foot goes down. He sees a gigantic flaming red spot on his neck that was revealed when his clothes shifted. He had odd scars on his face, too, though the girls face was scar free._

_He was the more defiant of the two._

_The spotlight moves away from them when the dance is done. _

"_And now The Forgotten Flower," he says._

_The spotlight moves and there is a girl with orange hair. She sits on the ground, and at first it looks like she is just clad in flowers. Then you take a closer look. The flowers on this sunny looking Kid, where coming out of her skin. She looks up and waves with a rose vine wrapped hand, a big smile in place. _

_She bent backwards, forwards, did flips and tumbles, showing off what she could really do. She did her final flip, landing on her feet and a very pained look flashed on her face._

_She was also in pain._

"_This is The Mindless Mermaid."_

_The girl was in a clear glass box, filled with water. She was clad in a short dress, her long blonde hair fanned around her. She was breathing normally out of things in her neck…gills? And she had scales on her arms and legs. She looked almost bored, though. With a small sigh, she perched herself up over the top of the glass, and told jokes._

_There was no doubt that she was funny, but Ikuto and Utau didn't find it very amazing. Utau had tears falling down her cheek, while even Ikuto looked horrified._

"_Now for a true man, this is The Abandon Acrobat."_

_A boy was show on a high platform. He was holding a bar connected to strings, ready to jump. He was fearless. His metals arms are straight and his metal hands are gripping the bar tightly. With his metal legs, he jumps, swinging through the air. He does flips, tricks and jumps that risked his very life. And he does is with a goofy smile on his face._

_But like all the smiles here, they never meet the eyes._

"_Now, the last act of the night. The beauty of them all-" the ringleader starts, pointing out his arm._

_But in that very moment, a hand with a rag in it covers Ikuto's face. The rag has a strange stench that he couldn't quite name, but whatever it was, it had him unconscious in no time at all._

_They did the same for the blonde. _

_They were carried into the back where the light balls flickered, and cages lined the sides. Ikuto was thrown into one and Utau the other. Both cages were lined with metal, completely soundproof to everyone._

_No one would hear them scream._

_No one to wipe away their tears._

_The ones their parents didn't wipe away anyway. It didn't matter though._

_The second that Ikuto woke up, he knew that life wasn't the same._

_It would never be the same._

_End of flashback._

Slowly, Ikuto opened his eyes. The door to his cell opened, and the familiar smell of 'dinner' overwhelmed his sense, making an inhumane growl escape his lips.

The attendant yelped, dropping the plate on the floor and scampering out of there as fast as he could. Ikuto made his way over to the plate, and starting eating, not caring who was watching.

"How long was it this time?" asked the male half of the twin.

"Nagi! It's rude to ask!" says the female side.

"Nade, everyone is wondering," he mocks his sister in a lighthearted way.

"3 weeks," he says, hiding his navy blue eyes behind his azure bangs.

"Im so sorry," says Nade. He looks up, his eyes sharp. He stands up, stretching his long body. He leans down, right by the bars of his cage and glares at Nade.

"Don't. Pity. Me." he says, softly but filled with venom.

She shrinks back toward her brother, and Ikuto get up and goes over to the dark corner and finishes his food.

The ringmaster comes through, examining his experiments with a smirk on his face.

As he walks by, he pulls down the metal coverings over the bars, making it impossible for them to see out.

For along time it's silent. No one dares to even breathe too loudly.

They see if they can hear more then they usually can. As usual, the frantic footsteps as they run away. They also hear the controlled steps of someone clad in combat boots as they walk steadily towards them.

They hear screaming. Begging. And then silence.

Complete silence.

Slowly, they hear the boots retreat to not so far away from them, in the dark corner of the room. The boots step onto the metal of the cage, and the door locks in a frantic hurry.

No one knew who it was. No one knew what its deformity was. All they knew was that if they were bad, they would meet the same bitter end that whoever tried to get out did.

And it wouldn't be pleasant.

So they lived their lives trapped in steal cages. Getting hurt from doing the most minor things.

And always just wishing that they had never come around here.

But two people, who were technically one, wondered. They wondered how the person that lived in the cage was.

Their secret was they had met her.

Once.

On a dark night.

And they still remembered the three words she uttered as she looked up with one golden eye, the rest of her face hidden by shadows.

"**Welcome to hell."**

…

**Thanks for reading! It means a lot to me! Feel free to tell me what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3-I'll Fight

Deformed Diva

"Come here, you freak, its time for a play date with all the rest of your freak friends. Now hurry up you disgusting thing." spit's the ringmaster harshly, as he grabs me by the chain that is wrapped around my neck and yanks it harshly. I wince, but follow as he leads me to the circle that is made out of all the cages. I see Nagi, Nade, Rima, Kukai, Yaya, Kairi, Tadase and Ikuto being led out, muzzle securely on his mouth and hands handcuffed.

He was growling, just to terrify the poor man. The guard flinched, dropped his 'leash' and scampered away like a terrified little girl.

The ring leader pushed me forward, causing me to stumble and fall on the floor, and cackled as he walked away.

Nagi and Nade came over, pulling me up to my feet as I tried to readjust my skirt so it covered the atrocity underneath.

"He is such an ass," murmurs Nagi.

"Sorry Utau," says Nade apologetically. I nod, walking over to Ikuto and undoing his muzzle. I stroked his cheek as he stares at me.

"How are you?" he asks.

I give him a small smile and raise my eye brows.

"Okay…I guess." I say.

The moment is broken by Kukai, who is sitting on the floor. He had been quiet for quite some time, an unusual thing for him. When he stands up, making all his metal joints in his legs, (wincing in the process) and narrows his eyes.

"Im sick of that corner." he says, glaring at the dark corner, where a cage is hidden in the shadows.

"What?" asks Yaya as she walks around, doing handstands before she starts readjusting the rose vines that are wrapped around her hand.

"That is quite a stupid thing to Hate, Kukai. You should be hating the person inside the cage." says Kairi as he readjusts his glasses. He was the Rusted Robot. His heart and the emotion center of his brain had been replaced. His emotions were faint, but still there. As for his heart, well, it wasn't doing so well…

"Im not going to hate the person when we don't even know the gender of it. Or what it's been through. We need to meet it first before we can have an opinion of it. Im not that rude," he says, crossing his metal arms, making him wince again.

I chuckle lightly at this, making him grin at me and give me a small wink. I smile back shyly.

"Should we go see who it is?" asks Tadase. "No, we shouldn't." Tadase says, answering himself. "Yes, I think that would be nice," he answers again. He was the Five-Faced Freak. His physical defects were practically unnoticeable, give or take a few scars, but though most of us could act fairly normal, he couldn't. Might be pretty, but he was messed up.

I think I would rather be messed up in the head then in the body.

"We know that whoever it is, they have killed people. They go after the people who try to give away our secret. We need to be cautious." says Rima as she rubs her hands up and down her scaly arms. I nod in agreement.

"I think we all know that nothing can be that much more dangerous then me." says Ikuto, his eyes darkening and the true sorrow breaking through.

"I don't think that whoever they are, they are that much of a threat," says Nagi. We all turn to look at both of them. Nade's eyes dart to his, then look away quickly, looking at the cage in the corner.

Could whoever is in that cage really be that bad?

"Alright, freaks, you, put the muzzle back on the mutt." says the Ringleader, pointing at me. "And the rest of you, sit on the ground. We will get you ready in a bit." he says.

"You," he says, talking to one of the guards. "Get her ready," he says, jerking his thumb towards the dark corner.

The guard pales.

The whole room is completely silent.

"Don't be too harsh on them, girlie," the ring leader says, cackling evilly. The guard slowly walks toward the dark corner, unlocks the door and slowly goes inside.

We hear a scream and a thud, then silence.

Cold, dead, silence.

Then the guard crawls out, face bloody, screaming for help. He crawls out as fast as he possibly can, and goes back over to the ring leader.

"She isn't in the best mood today. Nearly bit my neck off," he says, shaking.

The ring master scowls, taking out an all too familiar metal spray bottle that holds burning acid that he sprays on our skin when we are 'bad little children.' He opens the cage, saying some things we couldn't hear and coming out minutes later, putting the bottle back in his pocket.

He turns and looks at us, and gives us one of his wicked smiles.

"See, one day you will be just like her. You will be so numb that you won't even scream." he says, cackling as he walks away.

Guards come in and start the process of getting us pretty.

I mean, as pretty as deformities can be.

…

Amu's P.O.V

I knew I shouldn't have chased that guard around, hit him with that stick or kicked him when he was down. It has been hard. Besides catching and killing the runners, I haven't been allowed to come out in a long time. I was restless and frustrated.

I could hear him tattling on me, and I prepared myself for what was to come. I curled up in a corner, putting my head on my knees and praying that I wouldn't have to deal with what I knew was going to come.

Sure enough, I hear his footsteps come closer and closer. He opens the door, making the light stream in and making me shut my eyes tightly, shying away from it.

"What have I told you about hurting the guards? Naughty little girl. If you continue with this bull shit, Ill have to make that pretty little face of yours even prettier." he threatens, showing me what he had hidden in his hand behind his back.

"Tilt your head." he says, and I don't even hesitate.

Hesitating would only make it worse.

Just do it well the first time.

He opens the bottle and pours until he feels like the expression on my face is twisted enough.

"Don't disobey me," he says, before he screws on the cap and walks out.

I slowly tip my head back to its regular position flinching and nearly crying out in pain as the acid takes it course in its destructive way.

I should be all to use to this by now, considering how long it's been done to me, but the sting never becomes familiar.

It just always hurts.

I sit there numbly as a woman comes in, brushing through my hair and putting make up on my ugly face. Im dressed in a lacey black dress and black ballet shoes.

I will do what im told.

Sit when told to sit.

Sing when told to sing.

Sleep when told to sleep.

For now, at least. But one day, I won't listen. I will fight and fight and fight.

And you will be the one listening to me.

…

**Thanks for reading and sorry for the wait!**


	4. Chapter 4-Girl With The Cheshire Smile

The Twin

I always loved getting ready before the show. We might be marched around and shown as atrocities, but I loved the feeling of getting dressed up.

I felt pretty for the first time in a long time.

The lady was a quiet, and you could tell that the hope she had once held was long gone, but she always got us ready for the shows. Putting makeup on us, dressing us, and making sure we were where we needed to be. She was the only one that was halfway decent to us.

"Lift your chin a little bit," she says in her quiet voice as she applies foundation to the bottom of my cheek where an age old acid burn mares my skin. It's what I get for struggling when he was aiming for my neck. She gets up, and nods, signaling that im done with my make up and that I just need to slip on my dress. Nagi and I change into our sewn together outfits, a challenging task, but we had done it ten thousand to many times to find it daunting anymore.

We hear Ikuto's distinct growl, and she halts her movements, just staring at him with the blankest expression on her face ever. He stops, and she just continues.

She was so used to the freakiness around her she was immune to it. A very tragic thing, but sometimes there is no fixing it. She was broken beyond repair.

I looked around. Everyone was dressed in their finest clothes. Utau was dressed in her deep purple dress with beautiful black lace. Her hair was tied in twin pigtails and her goat legs show in clear view. She looked miserable.

"Utau," I say quietly, catching her attention. "Remember to smile," I say, giving her a weak smile. Her eyes widened as she recalled what happened last time.

He didn't seem to think her smile was big enough and he made sure she had a scar on her stomach to remind her of her mistake.

She nodded, and got a determined look on her face. We could hear the crowd cheering and the ringmaster's alluring voice. Enticing the crowd with empty words and fake smiles.

With smiles, we are introduced, and we each go out and do what we do best. Pretend to be happy.

"Now for the most interesting looking one in my….show. The Twin." says the Ringmaster in his amused voice. We step out, smiles in place, ready to face the world. We hear the usual collective gasp, but by now it only stung a little.

Like I said earlier, after awhile you become immune.

Or so you tell yourself.

We strut around the stage, showing off what had been done to us. Their reactions were normal. Gasps. Screams. Laughs.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

The light is so bright its nearly blinding, but somehow you seemed to forget that. There was a certain thrill that was hard to explain. You forgot for a measly moment how bad your life sucks.

For just a second, though.

"That was The Twin, my lovelies! Now, for our last act," he says mysteriously, an evil smirk dominating his features.

It was her. No one knew what she did. We were all hauled away to our cages before we had the chance to see. But that curiosity was always there.

The Ringmaster came to get the mysterious girl just as we were about to be led back to our cages. He looked at all of us, and then smirked. He walked up to a blood covered Ikuto and lifted his muzzled face.

"Do you want to stay, little monster? Do you want to see what I keep hidden so well? Do you want to see if she is really worse then you?" he asks mockingly. Ikuto growls, the look in his eyes murderous and monstrous.

"You really fit your description to well, don't you?" he teases. "Don't you, _Blue Beast?_"

"Show her to me if you want, coward! I don't care. I don't really care what other freak show you have made because you are a sick, evil man. Go ahead. Make my damn day." he spit angrily. I can see the rage burning behind both eyes, but it Ikuto's was murderous.

Dangerous.

Deadly.

He was going to get it bad.

But instead of striking him, he begins to laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

"Oh, she will like you," he says, and then he pushes past him and goes to a cage. He starts talking in a quiet voice, and you hear some shuffling. Then, he leads out a figure in a head to toe cloak. Her tiny hands with perfect pink and black nails are tied behind her back with a rough brown rope.

And everything about her was hidden. The only thing you could tell about her was that she was short. Like barely taller then Rima short.

The Ringmasters smirk was still evident on his face as he led her to the edge of the stage.

"Ready, _Misunderstood Marionette_?" he mocked. Her cloaked head bobs up and down as she lowers the hood.

And in that very moment I couldn't help but wonder if life would ever be the same.

….

Blue Beast

I was so sick of him. I was sick of the way he treated us like we were animals. We were humans for Gods sake. Did he know what he did to us!? He **made **us into what we were.

We were normal…

We were just kids…

"Do you want to stay, little monster? Do you want to see what I keep hidden so well? Do you want to see if she is really worse then you?" he mocked. And I felt something snap.

"Show her to me if you want, coward! I don't care. Id don't really care what other freak show you have made because you are a sick, evil man. Go ahead. Make my damn day." I hissed out angrily. My vision was full of read and I wanted to see him dead. Now.

Oh, if looks could kill…how much fun I would have!

His angry face morphed into an amused one.

"Oh, she will like you," he says, chuckling to myself as he pushed past me and went to a cage in the shady corner of the room. I tried to calm myself, letting the rage that I keep pent up most of the time simmer down to its usual silent burning, and by then he was leading a figure out of the cage. A tiny figure, almost like a child.

Then again, you can't judge a person by their size. There is Rima.

They walk to the edge of the stage, and she starts to shed her cloak, revealing long, bubblegum pink hair. It was so strange…but it looked silky and smooth. She shed's it further, letting it drop to the floor. She is dressed in a lacy black dress with black ballet shoes. It fit her petit figure fit it perfectly.

I was entranced by her. She seemed so normal. Far too normal to be in a place like this with freaks like us.

Yet, she was the veteran here.

She goes onto the stage, and starts to slowly dance around. Then she starts to sing.

Her voice is soft and sweet, yet so sorrowful that it could drive a regular person to tears. There was something about it…

I loved Utau's voice. It was beautiful…but hers was different. This girls struck me to the very depths of my cold, dead heart.

And all too soon her song ended. She curtsied, then turned to come back.

That's when we got a good look at her.

Her pink hair was covering half of her face, but the other half could clearly be seen. Her golden eye shimmered brightly in the dim lighting of the stage. Her face was smiling.

Much wider then the normal person should be able to smile….

She was a girl with a Cheshire smile.

…

**Sorry for the long wait…hope you enjoy this! Thanks so much **


	5. Chapter 5- Going Back?

_Misunderstood Marionette_

I knew. I just knew. The way that there was a sinister spark in his eyes and an evil sneer on his face. The way he walked was like a predator and I was the prey.

"Come now, Little Bird, spread your wings and fly," he says in his cackling voice. A certain thought, like usual, crossed my mind.

If I scratched his eyes out now, would I have enough time to run away? If he fed me properly, then yes, but in my malnutrouished state, I couldn't. He would catch me and make me pay.

But would that tiny glimpse of the outside be worth it? The chance to feel fresh air in my lungs and the breeze through my hair. To see the moon through something besides a grimy window and the sun through holes in the tent.

'Don't be stupid. You don't want to get hurt, do you?' my logic reasoned.

Sigh, not today. I've been punished once today, lets not make it twice.

I get up silently, and walk to the entrance of the cage. He stands there, looking at me. Usually, he would just quietly lead me to the edge of the stage in complete silence, but I had figured out, today was not a normal day by any means. He leans against the doorway, and casually looks at his white gloved hands.

"You will be meeting the others today. You have been a fairly good girl, might as well as let you meet the other freaks. If I don't, I think you will get more violent. We both know that your sanity is fading fast and me constantly keeping you in solitary confinement can't be helping. Whether you know it or not, you are quite popular when it comes to the audience. They love your voice. It wouldn't be making me any money if you decided to freak out and I would have to kill you, would it? Nope. It might even make me a little sad. I mean after all that we have been through. You were my first experiment to succeed," he says, that evil glint in his eyes getting brighter at the thought of it. He was disgusting.

I pushed my repulsion aside. I would be getting to meet the others. The ones that I saw actually exit the red room. I knew about them, and I guess it was finally time for them to know about me. It had been years with them knowing nothing about me. I was…excited…somewhat. I was as excited as I was able to be in my state of health.

The short walk was quiet for the most part, besides his humming of a happy tune. He couldn't seem to keep that smile off his face and it made bile want to rise in my throat. The edge of the stage came into view and I saw nine people standing there. All of them where just as I had remembered them, save a few scars and some growth here and there. It was hard to believe I was seeing them so close.

I walked with my hooded head bowed. I might want to meet them, but I didn't want them to see. I didn't want them to see the monstrosity that my face is. Im sure that even though they have their deformities, they would still scorn me for mine. No one could accept me.

My own parents didn't even want me, why would anyone else?

Though all of them had their eyes on me, there was one set of eyes that really caught my attention. A tall boy who sat on the floor, his face covered by a muzzle. His eyes were swirling pools of the most hopeless shade of blue I had every seen. It seemed like maybe, just maybe they used to be a happy shade of blue, like the blue of the sky, but time had done its damage, darkening it. Hope was sucked out. And they were left the most unhappy shade of blue there could be.

They were beautiful.

His stare penetrated me, as if trying to see through the cloak. Good luck with that.

I got near the edge of the stage and dropped my cloak, with small steps I walked to the middle, seeing the crowd around me. In a way, the fact that they were watching this with fascinaction was sick. You had to be truly messed up in the head to actually be able to watch this for more then five minutes.

Taking in a deep breath, I straighten my posture and focus. Focus on the loneliness that I have had to accustom myself to. And with that all gathered up, I part my lips and sing, letting every emotion that I try so hard to never show out.

I dance and sing like for once, im not trapped here. Like I am flying in night sky. Like I am floating on the ocean.

**Like I am HAPPY. **

_Like im anywhere but here._

I burned away my dreams through singing. Using the thing that I used to hold so tightly to me and letting them die off of empty lips.

When the last note rang out through the whole tent, and for a moment, there was nothing but silence. Then it was a roar. They cheered for me like I was just the best there was.

Their applause sickened me.

I curtsied, my atrocity of smile taking up most of my face. I kept my head held high as I walked off the stage, and when I reached the edge, and I was in view of the others, I heard a collective gasp. I can't imagine what they would do if they saw the other half.

I had a full Cheshire grin. But that wasn't good enough for him.

No, he was much more cruel then that.

…lets just say there was no person in there right mind that could ever mind me even remotely pretty. Unless he was blind. And that is still iffy.

I stood in front of the stage as the Ringmaster pushed past me and stood in the stage, thanking them for coming and telling them to enjoy the rest of there night.

But we all just stared at each other. They stared at me and I stared at them. Well, they didn't stare at me, they stared at the smile I kept on my face, and not really my smile, just the….thing I have on my face.

For a few more seconds, I let them, then without another word I walk past them and into my cage, dragging my creaking door nearly shut behind me. I leaned against the back wall, and slid to the ground, staring blankly in front of me

I just knew it.

My gaze snapped up when I heard footsteps outside my door. I was staring into those two pool of blue hopelessness. Not really staring, more like falling.

He stood there, silently, examining me. Slowly, he opened the door and walked towards me. A naturally tan hand reaches out, almost hesitantly, towards me. His gaze is still boring into me, and my gaze still drowning in his eyes. My eyes flickered from his hand back to his eyes, but still he didn't withdraw his hand.

As slow as ever, I reached out my hand, withdrawing it a few times before finally he grabbed it and yanked me up in one swift motion, surprising me. I stood so close to him, my body was almost touching his. His smell of cinnamon and…copper overtook me. There was almost heat radiating off him in waves.

My breath caught in my throat.

He took a deep breath, then took a step away from me, turning away, but his grip on my hand didn't lessen. He dragged me out of the cage and back into the clearing. By then, the Ringleader was there, and he was barking out orders like he usually did. When he caught sight of me being towed by the boy in the muzzle, a sneer on his face.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? The Blue Beast and the Misunderstood Marionette. How cute. Im sure the cannibal doesn't care what you look like. What you try so desperately to hide…." he sneers at me. I clench my hands into fists, making him glance back at me out of the corner of his eyes.

I remain silent, knowing that saying something would just make it worse.

Satisfied with my silence, he looks around him. "We will be making a stop in a nice little place. We won't be staying there long, just long enough to do what we need to do. The towns called Seiyo, best know for the mental hospital. Oh, puppet, do we have a problem?" he asks me.

I shake my head, my eyes wide and filled with horror. The memories that came pouring into my head were terrifying me. No.

No.

**No.**

**NO.**

"I won't go back there!" I yell at him, making his eyes snap to me and narrowing.

"You will do exactly what I say, when I say it." he spits.

"I WONT GO BACK THERE!" I scream, terror lacing my voice at the thought of the loneliness.

This place might be hell, but I wasn't scared of it. That was the only place that I was absolutely terrified of. I didn't want to go there. I wouldn't go there.

He walked towards me, pushing me back so the 'Blue Beasts' hand slipped out of mine.

"You will go there, and you will like it. Don't you dare try to defy me," he hisses.

"I WON'T!" I scream, holding my head. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't make it if I went back.

He grabbed me by the neck and hauled my back to my cage. He threw me against the wall, kicking me in the stomach with those damn steel-toed boots. He banged my head against the wall and the whole world got so blurry. I couldn't see and it was hard to breath.

After a few more kicks, he bends down to my level.

"We are going there, and that final. And I hope you know I will enjoy watching you cry as I put you back in that room." he says in a wicked tone before he walks out.

The door is shut and locked and I am left in utter darkness.

When the breath comes back into my lungs, and my focus comes back, I stand up, slamming my fists against the wall.

And so my temper tantrum begins.

….

**Thanks so much for reading and I really do hope you like it! Sorry for the wait, my life has been pretty busy and I couldn't update! I hope you like it though, and feel free to tell me what you think! Thanks so much!**


	6. Chapter 6-Thats What You Get

_Blue Beast_

Her screams rang through the air as she beat the sides of her cage endlessly. For such a little thing, she was strong. All of us watched through the bars of our cage. She screamed and she fought and guards where to terrified to go within a ten foot radius of her.

The Ringmaster just sat and watched her cage with a sickly smile on his face. His face turned towards us and he scanned all of our faces.

"She was the first one here. The first little experiment. I think I did well, don't you?" he asks, his eyes turning back to her cage.

She hadn't let up, she hadn't stopped. She was an unstoppable force.

"Ringmaster, we need you," says a guard, and the Ringmaster turns, and leaves without so much as another word.

"COME BACK HERE YOU BASTARD! IM NOT LEAVING! I WILL KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" she screams, as her poundings get harder and harder. The poor metal is caving more and more. With every hit the hinges of her door rattle.

I scan the circle of the cages around me, wanting to see their reactions. Nagi and Nade out of the corner of my eye and see them looking at each other. Utau was staring at the cage with an almost angry expression on her face. Tadase is conversing with himself, sending glances at her cage, probably debating with himself what he thinks about it. Kairi isn't even bothering to look at her; he is just staring at ceiling with no emotions crossing his face. Yaya is looking at her with pitying glances. Rima looks almost disgusted at her.

But in the end, I don't think that any of us really knew what to make of her. She was so…different than us. Her treatment was different. Her punishment was different then us. The emotions that the showed towards her, were different. It was all just different.

And different wasn't very…accepted in a place like this. Even though this place was technically hers.

I was snapped out of my thought process when I heard an almost ear shattering scream. I wince and look back over at her cage. With one last slam against the wall, the door caved, falling to the ground.

Everyone's eyes are now on the doorless cage. Slowly and menacingly, she walks out, her eyes hidden behind her long, now tangled hair. She has blood dripping from bruised hands and her once perfect dress is now ripped.

Her head rose, and half of her face was shown. Her golden eye sparkled with a dangerous glint. She looked like a predator.

"GET A TRANQUILIZER. NOW! SHE BROKE OUT!" one of the guards yells, his tone laced with desperation. She took a few menacing steps towards the guard and he took probably ten steps back. He was terrified, no doubt about it. But she wasn't planning on quitting anytime soon. She steps closer and closer to him until his back was against the wall, then her hand wrapped around his throat as she glared at him.

He clawed at her hand, trying to escape her steel grasp, but it was to no avail. His brown eyes were filled with, not fear, but terror. Pure terror. Just as his face started to get blue around the edges, a guard snuck behind Amu and stabbed her at the base of the neck. Her hands abandon the poor guard's throat and flew to the back of her neck as she turned and glared at the guard. Her figure swayed, and seconds later she fell to the cold ground with a thud.

I had to keep my hand from reaching out and vainly trying to catch her.

The Ringmaster comes back in, and sees Amu on the ground and the guard on the ground, trying to catch his breath. His eyes dart between the two, before he rolls his eyes, roughly hoists Amu over his shoulder and scans the room.

It was almost like a light bulb went off in his head when he saw me. A wicked grin dominates his features.

He walks over to my cage, Amu still over his shoulder, and unlocks my cage. A growl escapes my lips as the door creaks open. I get in a defense pose, knowing nothing could stop me from ripping his throat out.

My muzzle is no longer there to keep my teeth from him…

I think you get the picture.

"I think that on this week long trip, you should get a companion. She is alone, you are alone, and I think that two lonely people should be paired up. Who knows, maybe if both of you are absolutely miserable you will kill each other." he says in a sarcasm laced voice. Amu's temper tantrum had really pissed him off and this was his way of punishing her.

I just growl, stalking towards him. He notices me, grimaces when he sees my muzzle on the ground by his feet, and drops Amu's limp body on the ground before quickly closing the door. I pounce, nearly getting out but the door being slammed on me and my arms reach through the bars. He smirks over his shoulder, before walking off.

"Put the metal coverings over their cages. We are traveling. Pack up and I want to be able to ship out by midnight tonight." he says. A guard steps forward, flinching when I growl at him, but nonetheless steps forward and pulls all the coverings over my cage so it is nearly pitch black besides the thin cracks through the metal coverings. We were left for days on end in almost complete darkness.

Pretty terrifying if you weren't used to it.

I look down at the unconscious girl and walk back to my dark corner, sitting on the floor with my head resting against my knees.

What the hell is this week going to be like?

…

_Mindless Mermaid_

I watched her with disgust as she threw her temper tantrum. She had no right. Just because she had been here longer she got to get away with things that we wouldn't dream of. It wasn't fair, not by a long shot.

Plus, her disfigurement wasn't the worse one. We had animal parts **added **onto our bodies. I had frickin fish scales on me. Ones that were planted into my skin one by one. The pain was unbearable. And now…now there was no hope for me. This couldn't be fixed. I could never go back to just being a regular girl.

I was just what my stage name was.

Nothing more then a _Mindless Mermaid. _

She….she could at least make up a story. Car crash. Abusive parents. Kidnapped. Something. What could I say? I am the spawn of god damn Ariel the Mermaid!? It made me seethe.

I was snapped out of my daydream when I heard footsteps, and a needle was stabbed into the back of her neck. She dropped like a fly. The Ringmaster picked her up with almost bored look on his face and scanned all of us.

It was hard to keep the disgust from appearing on my face as his eyes fell on me. I just continued to run my fingers through my long, knee-length hair, and kept my golden eyes averted. He moved on.

But when his eyes landed on Ikuto…it was like a light bulb went off in his head. He headed over to his cage with an almost cheeky grin on his face.

If I didn't despise the girl so much, then I would pity her. Ikuto was highly aggressive, even though he had shown peaceful behavior to her before. That was after he had eaten. If she was with him when they were starving him…..things could go…sour.

Not even Utau could control him when he was starved…he could do some serious damage. No one knew what he could do if he was constantly around a person.

The Ringmaster opened the cage, causing Ikuto to growl and start moving towards him. When he realized what was happening, he dropped Amu harshly on the ground and slammed the door, barely missing Ikuto as he pounced.

"Ikuto…" I heard Utau say, worry lacing her voice.

"Do you think he can do it?" asks Nagi

"It would be like dangling a steak dinner under his nose and expecting him not to eat it. It's practically torture!" says Nade.

"Logic says that the odds of him attacking her and possible killing her are higher then him controlling himself," says Kairi.

"We have to give Ikuto credit. He could last 3-4 days at least." says Tadase.

"Yaya would say five days before he at least tries to attack her." she says.

"I think she is different. He just…he looks at her differently. Maybe she will be someone who can tame him," says Kukai, staring off into the distance.

I give a bitter laugh as we watch the metal coverings go over his cage.

"Ikuto is a cannibal, that's a fact. He craves human meat. It's been pounded into his head. She is human." I say. They all look at me glumly, knowing it's the truth.

"Alright, get together with your partner. We need to leave in a few. You know the drill," says the guard. I sit in my cage and wait for Nagi and Nade to come. They step in with a sigh and settle themselves on the floor.

"Good luck!" I hear Kukai say before we are all shut into our cages.

I wasn't the one who would need it…

…

**Thanks for the wait! Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to tell me what you think and give suggestions! Enjoy!**


	7. Chapter 7- Hopelessly Optimistic

_Misunderstood Marionette _

I knew the second I woke up, that I had really done it this time. I knew from the bumpiness below me we were already on our way to Seiyo. I also knew I wasn't in my cage, and I sure as hell wasn't alone.

Slowly, I sat myself up, my head pounding and the back of my neck sore. I felt light headed and my tongue felt like sandpaper in my mouth. All around, it wasn't very pleasant being awake. I search the dark cell, and I see a hunched figure in the corner.

Without so much as a second thought, I slowly crawl over to it. Walking was just stupid; I mean we are on a train.

The closer I get, and the more I squint, the better I could make out the figure. Dark blue hair, slight scarring on his face, long body, yep, no doubt that was Blue Beast. His eyes were closed in quiet slumber, but I knew that they would be opening momentarily.

And I was right.

His eyes snapped open and his form became rigid at the threat he seemed to think I was. When he identified who it was, he relaxing. His sad blue eyes shimmered in the darkness.

"Hello," I say quietly.

He stares at me for a few seconds, before answering.

"Hello Amu," he says softly. How does he know my name? I thought to myself

As if reading my mind, he said, "The asshole said it a few times. Im Ikuto, in case you didn't know."

"Ikuto…" I say, testing it on my tongue. It seemed to fit him, every detail of him. He was just very Ikuto-y.

It was silent for quite some time. I was use to silence, it never bugged me.

"What happened to you? How did you end up here?" he asks. I look at him, I mean really look at him, and see a curiosity behind his eyes.

I lean forward, so I am mere inches from his face.

"Do you really want to know?" I ask. He stares straight into my visible eye and nods.

"I was born to Midori and Tsumugu Hinamori. First child. When was younger, there was a man who would watch me, and one night, he tried to kidnap me. I got away, told my parents, and they just brushed it off. Said I was making up childish stories. He would watch me. Constantly watch me. And I got so paranoid that I became sick. I wouldn't eat. I wouldn't sleep. I was just constantly paranoid. So, being the truly loving parents they are, they sent to a mental hospital, and just left me there. It was awful there. And I don't want to go back. Ever." I say, taking a deep breath and swallowing the fear in my voice.

"Most patients were just sold to the hospital, and became medical experiments. Most of the time, it was for medicine, and it wasn't that bad. Other times they just got a lobotomy and sat there like a good little vegetable. But no, my parent sold me to the Ringmaster, or Ringleader or Master, or whatever you call him. I was his first experiment. He jacked with my outer appearance, and it jacked with my inner workings. Then came you guys." I say. He just stares at me.

"How?" he asks.

"How did I deal with everything? I don't know. I didn't really have any other choice."

"How did you do it alone?" he asks.

Im silent, my mind wandering back through my past. Me on the playground by myself. Me always alone when Mama and Papa went out. Me always without a partner in school.

"I was always alone. It wasn't that big of deal," I say.

"I always had Utau. She was always there for me. I didn't have to be alone, because even if our parents were to busy for us, we had each other." he says.

"I only have one sibling, and she was born to make sure I was replaced. It was at the end of my stay at Seiyo. The bastard made sure to rub my replacement, Ami, in," I say.

"Our lives suck," he says simply. I give him a cold chuckle.

"To say in the least, they suck." I say.

There is silence again.

"You are fed dead stuff, aren't you?" I ask.

He sighs. "Yes. Now go run away in fear that I will eat you." he says blandly.

"That's stupid. Why would I do that? For one, you could get me anywhere in this cage. For two, you have had all this time to eat me and haven't. Lastly, it's not like it's your fault. You didn't choose your appetite," I say. I can tell that his eyes widen.

There is a brief silence again.

"I think we might be able to get along," he says softly. I chuckle, and move so I am sitting right next to him. His hand finds mine in the darkness and he holds it, our fingers intertwined.

"Me too."

…

_Deformed Diva_

To say that I was worried about Ikuto would be an understatement. I was currently in a cage with Kukai, and I was a wreck. What if Ikuto killed her and the Ringmaster killed him? What would I do?

He was my brother. I needed him.

"Stop worrying, Utau. If I were him, I would be angry at your lack of faith." Kukai says casually.

I briefly glance at him.

"But what if Amu gets hurt? The blood?" I ask.

"He just ate. There is no need to worry. Ikuto will be fine. Amu will be fine. We will see them at the next stop." he says.

I sigh. That wasn't enough, as much as I wanted it to be.

"Ikuto is all I have left." I say, my voice cracking.

"You have me. You have us. Most of us don't have anyone here with us." says Kukai, and I am immediately hit with a wave of regret.

Its not like they hadn't lost anything. I shouldn't be worrying about what I could lose.

With how much the world seemed to hate me, if I worried about something or someone they seemed to be taken away from me.

I sigh, knowing he is right. I shouldn't be worrying.

"Come, lay down next to me. Look at the moon tonight." he says. I do as he says, laying on the ground and looking at the bowling ball sized hole at the top of the cage. It was big, but not big enough to fit a body through. We always just enjoyed the view we got. It was nice to actually get to see the sun and moon, something the others don't really get.

It was are little secret.

"Things like this are so simple compared to the rest of our lives." says Kukai. I nod my head

"Never have to worry about doing anything wrong. Being victim of circumstance. Getting deformed." I say.

"All it has to do is be beautiful." he says.

"Something all of us could only dream of now.." I say. He nods his head.

"Things will work out, though," he says. I just look over at him.

I think that was more for himself then it was for me.

Hopeless optimistic.

…

Ringmaster's P.O.V

Round and round the train goes,

Where it stops, no one knows!

Oh, wait. We do know! Oh, well!

I chuckle to myself as I lay in my comfortable arm chair. I knew that this trip was going to be different. I knew that there was something different lurking in the near future.

And I didn't know if it was good or bad.

Honestly, I didn't really know. And I didn't really care at this point. It was pretty impossible to make me care anymore.

The sole reason for our little stop was as a disciplinary action for Amu. Just kidding, it was because I like to make her miserable. The look on her face when she is in agony, its pretty priceless. You have no idea!

Lets just hope that she will live to get to Seiyo with Ikuto with her. My forehead scrunches together. Oh right, Ikuto could kill Amu.

I needed Amu alive.

Maybe that wasn't the best idea I had ever had. Oh well.

Shit happens.

I let my eyes close, and I get lifted into the sweet land of deformed children and circus'.

…

**Not my favorite chapter, but it will have to do! Thanks so much for reading and sorry for the wait! I love you all!**


	8. Chapter 8-In Too Deep

_Misunderstood Marionette_

"Ikuto," I say, sitting up and stretching my sore arms above my head. The blue haired boy groaned from besides me, tugging on my skirt for me to lie back down.

"Ikuto, the train isn't moving anymore," I say, making him sit up. I stand up, my legs unused to the motion after 3 days and look through one of the cracks to see a man clad in black coming right towards the door. I back up, hearing the lock turn and unlock and his weight come against the door.

They knew my tricks after all this time.

He wait's a few seconds before speaking. "I am armed and ready to kill. I am going to barely open the door and slide a muzzle in for the dog and you are to put it on him." he says. He tries to sound brave, but I know that he isn't. I can practically smell the fear that is radiating from him. He quickly opens the door, sliding in the muzzle and closing it, his breathing heavy. He lets out a sigh of relief.

I quietly go over and pick it up, carrying it over to Ikuto who glowers at it.

"Please." I say softly. He nods, his eyes never leaving the device in my hand. I strap it around his head, making sure it fits him, but isn't tight enough to hurt him. I do the old, metal latches and trail a hand down his cheek.

Over the past three days, I have become quite fond of the boy. He was in as much pain as me. Or at least I liked to think so.

"Blue Beast! Get up and walk towards the door. Doll stay back," the familiar voice of the head guard boomed. Son of a bitch loved his job and came shortly after I arrived. His eyes stared at you a little too long and his grin was just a little to wicked. He was always someone I hated to be around.

I back into the corner where Ikuto is and he looks down at me.

"Go. Ill be fine," I say, giving him a faint smile. I knew what was going to happen. I was going to be punished once and for all for escaping. Dread bubbled in my stomach as I even thought about what he was going to do.

Wasn't I deformed enough?

Ikuto's eyes lingered on me for a few more seconds, before he stepped towards the door. It opened, he was yanked out, and then it closed again.

Well, nearly closed.

I had almost let out a sigh of relief until I saw a white gloved hand grab the door right before it shut. A dark figure stepped inside and I saw the familiar glint of metal in his hand.

"I told you to be good, Doll, or you would get in trouble. And what do you do? You disobey me. I don't like to be disobeyed." the Ringmaster says in his singsong voice.

I stared straight up at him, my face blank.

"Now I want to hear you scream," he says, holding the knife up. He gets closer and closer and my heart thumps louder and louder. I feel like it will jump right out of my chest.

"I will make you more beautiful," he coos, bringing the knife's tip to the good side of my face, right below my eyebrow. I look up into the cold, unforgiving pits that he calls his eyes, letting the bad side of my face show and try to see one ounce of sympathy in them.

One ounce of humanity left.

My eyes close when I see none. He carves into my face, doing curvy swirls, any lines all around my eye and to my cheekbone.

"One side good and beautiful. The other ugly and harsh. Perfect," he murmurs as he does the final touches. Tears stream out of my closed eye and my teeth ground together, barely managing to bite back the screams that wanted to escape.

"You are no fun." he says as he trails the tip lightly down my cheek. He gets up, wiping the knife against his black pants and dusting his red coat off.

"Now you can go get some water and walk around for ten minutes before we leave again. Hop to it," he says, leaving the door open as he walked out. I sit up, my hand hovering over my awful wound as blood pours out of it. Gingerly, I touch it, only to have to bite my lip from letting a whimper escape. Taking a deep breath, I press my hand against it, gasping in pain.

It needs to stop bleeding.

'Well, you need water. Hide you face,' my logic reasoned. I take my hand from my face, wiping the blood on my black dress and bow my head, letting my hair fall into my face. Nothing could be seen.

It's not as if they would care even if they saw, but make the effort of even pretending. I take small steps towards the door, the world blurring from light sensitivity and blood loss.

My grip on the doorframe is white knuckled as I try to keep the blinding rays of the sun from my sensitive eyes. Why me?

I hear the familiar clatter of the small group of people not to far away and I slowly turn head towards it. Carefully, I make my way towards them, trying to just get over to the edge of the lake so I could get some water to fill my starved stomach and dry throat. We were in the middle of nowhere, I could tell that. The lake was surrounded my trees and we were traveling on an abandon railway that looked like it would break under the trains weight.

"Im telling you, we can't trust her!" I hear Utau yell.

"Yeah, I mean, she killed those guards when they tried to get away, I bet her and the Ringmaster are best friends. I bet she is just a spy!" exclaims Rima.

"We don't know yet, so we can't just judge her." says Nade, and I see Nagi nod in agreement from my place in the trees.

"She has been here for longer then all of us; I don't think we should trust her. We have barely survived our time, how could she survive hers?" counters Rima.

"Stop acting like such a judgmental child and use logic. She has been here longest, therefore she has a use. Her use is obviously as a sideshow, like the rest of us, but also to catch the guards. We have all seen the strength she possesses when she is angry, so it's obvious that it's not her that may or may not be for the Ringmaster, it's the Ringmaster's 'devotion' for her. I say that it's him who is attached." says Kairi. It was the first time I had seen him talk. His robotic eye that glowed a mysterious red scanned the group of his friends, but landed in the shadows. Right where I was hiding. He knew I was there, that I had no doubt about. "You have minimal reason to be fearful of her." he finished. He then looks back down at his hands and it seemed as if that conversation was over.

"I say we should ignore her. Just to be sure. She is just a freak anyways. There is just something off about her." finishes Rima.

I decide its time to make my appearance, and I walk out from my hiding spot, head bowed and make my way towards the lake. All eyes are on me as I bend down in the wet sand, tug off both my boots and set them besides me. I bend over, filling my hands with the cold water and drink as much as I can. It slid down my dry throat in such a smooth way that I wanted nothing more then to submerge myself in it.

And before I knew it, that's exactly what I did.

My head was underneath the murky water, washing the grime of being in that dark, dirty cage for all that time. I felt so refreshed. I came out of the water dripping. My now dark pink hair still covering my face. They all watched me as I took my seat, picking up a stick and drawing pictures in the sand like I used to with my parents at the beach. Everyone was silent, but I could tell that they wanted nothing more then to know just how much I heard.

And the thing that made a half smile creep up on my face is that all they had to do was ask. I had nothing more to hide. Secrets were of no use or importance to me.

"Come on, little freaks, time to get back in your cages," I heard the Ringmaster call from a ways off. I was the first to get up, and the rest followed behind me. I saw his towering frame in front of me and I wanted to nothing more then to wipe that cocky smirk right off his face and condemn it right back to the fiery pits of hell where it belonged.

"Did your friends appreciate your gift?" he sneered. I was silent. He must have seen the confused look on their faces, and that made him start laughing.

"You will have to tell them your secrets one day," he teased, before stepping to the side and letting me through. I walk back to the cell, stepping into it and immediately going to the corner. I sit there with my head in my arms rested on my knees and clench my hands until they are white knuckled.

The 'whys' I tried so hard to ignore were screaming in my head.

Why was I the one he picked?

Why was I the one he experimented on?

Why did he screw up my face so badly?

Why me?

…

Ikuto's P.O.V

I let them bicker all they wanted about Amu, I didn't have the energy or the will to stop them from doing it. I knew she was different and I knew that she hated the Ringmaster and what had been done to her just as much as the rest of us. She wasn't stupid. She wasn't on his side.

She was a victim just as much as the rest of us were.

When Kairi's eyes focused on something in the trees, I knew that she had heard everything. I wasn't sure how much she cared about what we had said, but I knew that she had heard it.

She walked with her head down towards the lake, drank, then decided to take a swim and I couldn't help but to think that she looked so beautiful in the water. Like the weight of the world was being washed off her and nothing could hurt her.

But I knew that by the way she was walking she was hurt. Don't ask me how, but I just knew. She sat on the shore after her short swim and drew pictures. I was just close enough to see what they were. It was a house, with a family in front of it that looked happy and content. They all had smiles. Then she would nearly touch it with her fingers before harshly wiping it away.

Then she would draw a room with a sad girl in it.

It was like a never-ending battle in her head between whether to hope or just give up.

"Come on, little freaks, time to get back in your cages," I heard the Ringmaster sing.

After Amu's little 'conversation' with him, my suspicions where confirmed.

She was hurt. I should have known sooner. I should have never left her by herself with him. How stupid could I get?

I walked to our cage where I knew she was. As I stepped inside, it was a reminder of just how dark it is. She was curled up in a corner, seeming to be in her own little world.

I hear the door shut with a harsh slam and the familiar click of a lock. For quite some time I just stare at her, and she seems completely ignorant to it. She just looks so tiny. So fragile. Like a rose.

Thorny around the outside, but delicate.

My eye contact didn't break until the train lurched forward, sending me against the wall. I easily crawl over to her and sit in front of her.

Ever so gently, I grab her wrists, softly pulling them away from her face, but she just puts her head farther into her knees.

"Amu." I say softly, but she ignores me.

I try to push her leg down, but to no avail.

"Let me see your face." I say.

"No."

"Amu."

"No." she says, this time with more force.

"Let me care for you," I say softly. Her head flies up. I see blood dripping down the side of her face and her eye swollen. The wound is in the shape of roses and vines, and would be beautiful if it hadn't been ruthlessly inflicted.

"Don't." she says.

"Don't what?"

"Care for me. It will only get you hurt." she says. I have nothing to say back. I rip off a piece from the bottom of my shirt and clean her wound. Then wrap it around her head. It looks a ridiculous, but hopefully it will get the bleeding to stop.

I sit next to her, grabbing her hand and looking at her.

"It's too late," I say. Her head turns and I know she can see me from that hidden side of her face. I also know that I will be seeing it soon.

I lean in, close my eyes and gently press my lips to hers, pulling back just as quickly.

"Im already in too deep."

…

**Sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy this! Feel free to give me suggests and tell me what you think! Love you all so much!**


	9. Chapter 9-More Broken Then You

_Misunderstood Marionette_

I always figured I would be scared. I always figured that if my life was put in a direct danger, or a physical attack by someone I wasn't expecting to attack me, I would fight back with all that I had left in this broken body of mine.

It was amazing how I never seemed to respond in the way I thought I would.

I was just constantly surprising myself.

His teeth sunk into my arm between my wrist and my elbow, his eyes crazed and wild, not the sad blue pools I was so used to. It almost seemed like the Ikuto I knew, the Ikuto I had come to love, was gone.

But I could still see him.

I knew he was still there. I could see it in his face. I could see it embedded deep within his eyes. He was still Ikuto. He was still human.

And he was still terrified of himself.

I reached a shaking hand out, and stroked my hand through his soft hair, focusing on the texture of it instead of the pain.

"Shhh. It's okay Ikuto. Im not mad. Im here for you and im not going to leave you." I say in a soft voice. I voice so soft that I didn't even recognize it.

Slowly, he let go of my arm, and I wrapped my arms tightly around him, cradling his body against my small one. He was so tense, but slowly, bit by bit he relaxed.

I gave his forehead a light kiss and hummed softly.

"Im so sorry." he said, his voice strained and laced with regret.

"It's all right. You're okay and im okay. Now just sleep." I say. He closed his eyes, and tried to hide his face behind his hair. First, it was one salt drop, and then a waterfall cascaded after that.

I just let him cry. He needed it. He needed to let out that pent up sorrow that he carried with him wherever he went.

And I don't know how long I held him. I don't know how long he cried. All I know is that for some odd reason, I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted to keep holding him. I wanted to keep the peace that had come over me. I wanted to keep the feeling of warmth in my long dead heart.

I wanted to feel this.

I wanted to believe what I had with him was actually real.

But I had learned, oh, I had learned a long time ago that wants don't get you anywhere.

So I closed my eyes, letting the darkness come over me, and for once not praying that I wouldn't wake up.

* * *

_Blue Beast_

My hands shook. My legs couldn't hold me. I was burning up, yet I felt like I was freezing. I wouldn't let Amu come towards me, even when she tried. She would just stare at me, a sad look embedded in her golden eye.

I don't know how many days it was like that.

I don't know how long that I was like that. All I knew was that the cage seemed to get smaller, the world a lot darker and Amu seemed to look delicious in more then one way.

The bloodlust was coming back and it was coming back with a bang.

"Amu…" I moaned softly, trying to look as innocent and vulnerable as possible.

"Help me Amu…" I said softly. 'Don't do this! Don't do this to her! No! You don't want to do this to her! REMEMBER! REMEMBER YOUR HUMANITY DAMNIT!' the rational part of me screamed.

I simply ignored him.

Amu crawled over to me slowly, but steadily and sits in front of me.

'Don't do this to her.' my mind told me.

"Amu…" I say again, breathlessly.

She reaches her arm over to me, and gently touches my cheek, leaving me with the feeling of pleasant shocks traveling through my body.

'Forgive me, Amu,' was the last thing that traveled through my head before I sunk my teeth into the pale flesh of her arm. Her eyes widened in shock, and you could see a twinge of pain spread across her face, but she quickly masked it. I expected her to start yelling, or fighting back like they normally do, but Amu had never been one to do what anyone expected.

She reached out her hand and stroked it through my hair, her face soft and calm, then she pulled me into her chest, cradling me against her.

And there was something about the tenderness she showed me. Something about the love that still sparkled in her eyes. The amount of understanding that was still there despite what I was doing.

My jaw unclenched and I let her go.

I couldn't believe that I had done that. I had hurt Amu. I had _hurt _Amu.

It just made the reality that I really was a monster come crashing down on me with an even heavier weight then before.

She kissed my forehead softly, as if she knew the thoughts that were spinning through my head, and started humming softly.

"Im so sorry," I choke.

"It's all right. You're okay and im okay. Now just sleep," she says.

I relax against her, and listen to the soft beat of her heart in her chest. Listen to the reminder that she was alive and she wasn't leaving me just yet. I close my eyes, a single tear escaping, and a waterfall falling in its wake.

In that moment, I promised to never hurt Amu again.

I promised to protect her.

I promised to sacrifice my life for her.

In that very moment, I gave my heart to Amu, and the funny thing is, she didn't even know it.

* * *

_The Twin (Nagi)_

Nade was fast asleep, her head leaned against the wall to the right of her, and her face relaxed in slumber. As much as I tried, sleep seemed to avoid me, no matter how heavy my eyes got or how much I begged for it to come.

In the corner of our cage, I see a small figure huddled together, small whimpers coming from her.

"Rima," I say, my voice ringing out and piercing the silence that was around us. Her eyes fly open and her arms flail out, before she realizes where she is and calms down, her breathing still ragged.

She glanced at me, then quickly averted her eyes as if she was disgusted by what she saw.

"You were having nightmares again." I say softly.

"Yeah."

"About the circus?"

"No."

"What then?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.

"My home life." she says shortly, staring at the wall as if she wanted to burn a hole through it.

"Did they beat you?" I ask. Our group has been together a long time. Some joined later on, but we have still been together for a fairly long time.

There was always something we avoided talking about. Our lives before. At first, I assumed that it was just a painful topic, but over the years, I realized it was more then that. I realized there was a reason we were chosen.

We all came from less adoring parents. Whether we were abused, neglected, ignored, or just flat out unloved, all of us shared that trait. He made sure no one would look too hard for us. No one would miss us.

We never existed as far as the world new.

And just to ensure that, he made us unrecognizable. With a new name, a new body, a new outfit and a new past.

He made sure we had no chance of ever going back.

Who would accept us anyway? We are nothing but freaks.

"No. They did worse." she said, finally looking into my eyes shortly.

Our eyes lock for a few seconds before she turns away.

"They ignored me. Treated me as if I didn't even exist. I tried being good. I tried to impress them, but nothing worked. Then I got mad. I was bad. I stomped, screamed, and broke anything that got in my way, right in front of them sometimes, but they wouldn't even glance at me. I doubt that they even remembered my name." she said, her eyes turning cold and hard.

"I don't know how they could ignore you." I say, staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes snap towards me in shock.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"I don't know how they would ignore such a beautiful thing. I would want to put you on a pedestal and make sure nothing could hurt you. Give every ounce of attention to you so you always knew that you were priceless. Everything but ignore you." I say.

Her eyes widen in shock, and then they fill with a mixture of sadness and bitterness.

"Who would want something like me now!?" she spits.

I turn and look straight into her eyes.

"Someone even more broken then yourself." I say.

I don't know how long our eyes were locked. All I know is that if felt _my heart_, the one I thought was long dead and one of the two that beat in our shared chest, warm.

She crawled over, slowly and carefully and sat next to me, leaning against the wall. She scooted closer, and closer, until our arms were touching.

I tried to suppress my smile, but I couldn't, I just closed my eyes and let the grin come over my features. I hear her grumble and grab her hand to make sure she can't scoot away. Her hand is stiff in mine for a while, before it looses and holding mine lightly. We stay like that for quite awhile.

Neither of us talking.

Neither of us moving.

Both of us just enjoying the feeling of another human that understands us.

Then, I feel a lightweight against my arm, and look down to see her asleep. A soft smile covers my features as I feel her snuggle against me.

This could be the start to the light inside my darkness.

I softly gaze down at her, until my eyes are heavy and my body is numb.

Maybe, just maybe, I can get a chance at something in my misery, and then there could be a chance of salvation from our hell.

Maybe, just maybe, we can be free one day.

But for now, it doesn't really matter.

Its just time to go to sleep.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy this! The real action will be starting soon hopefully! Feel free to tell me what you think!**


End file.
